Save thy Soul

I'm losing a part of me. Not just any part, it's the one that describes my very essence. Can't figure out a way to hold it, to be. The unthinkable has happened. I'm letting myself become engulfed in the crowd. Swallowed to the point of not being able to turn back.
I've always loved myself foremost. And I've always also had reason to do so. I've prided in living by myself, my ideals and judgement alone. People have come and gone, and I've found precious ones. But never,in the process have I compromised my integrity. I've been brave enough to let go and walk alone.
That was the me I adored.
Now it's just bits and pieces.
I no longer create or evolve, just 'do' to obtain sanction.
There comes a point in our lives when we realize we're not even half of what we'd dreamt to be.
This is mine.

Never have I ever

Its a new year and everywhere around me people are making lists and resolutions. For some, its about things to get done this year, or a list of goals, for others its a to-NOT-do list. But since I'm the kind of person who doesn't believe in goody-goody goals or holds regrets, I made a whole different kinda list for myself. I went up to the terrace, on a thankfully sunny afternoon, gazed into the green fields, and searched my soul for the things that I have never ever done and will (or will not) do someday. Its crazy,and it makes me happy.


Here goes :
1.Board a random train.
2.Perform on a stage, with a real band. And real audience.
3.Dance wild, all night. Rooftop preferred.

4.Join a parade. St. Patrick's day, LGBT, anything..
5.Fight. Beat the hell out of someone.
6.Make a mini movie. Camera, I love you.
7.Cook a grand (and hopefully delicious) meal.

8.Color my hair purple. Or red.
9.Take my dog swimming.
10.Solve a mystery (am I getting too wishful here?).
11.Weigh a hundred pounds (over-the-top-wishful).
12.Design a dress.
13.Drive on the highway. Full speed. Loud Music.
14.Stand up for a friend, for a cause.
15.Watch a comet.
16.Get a tattoo(s).
17.Dive. Always been too scared for that.
18.Gamble. Moolah baby.


There are a few more, but they just won't make it online.:P

Never Have I Ever II

Black

There is no knight in shining armor, no fountain of elixir, no everlasting unconditional love, no paradise upon earth, no one who'd know you better than you, no one who'd ever understand. There is nothing that could comfort you on a cold moonless night, nothing that could lessen the pain of losing someone, nothing to do justice to unreciprocated love. Nothing that could last forever, nothing that could outlast pain. Nothing beyond the everexpanding darkness of the skies.