Recipe for Silence

I've been silent for too long now. Thoughts make their way into my head only to twirl around and dissolve somewhere in the abyss of whatever already existed. Un-impression-ed. It's not as if the activity around me is mundane or colorless, but I fail to extract anything concrete from it. It's like I'm in the middle ground of something, in between the two towers that would read 'past' and 'future'. This is like hibernation, a long, long wait to find out what my life will be about once I'm done from here. I've made decisions for a lifetime, I've cast the dice, taken my risks. I know all the options and all the possibilities. Now it's only wait. At the end of every day, every act, my mind goes into re-set mode again. I know it's useless to form any opinions, to draw any conclusions, to sketch out any plans right now. It won't make any difference till I've reached the end of this line. All that I can do is just watch the drama unfold, for the good or the bad. Aggression is not one of my virtues. In anticipation of the year to come. Helpless anticipation.