Past Perfect

How important it is to preserve some memento relating to the past because your memory might not be able to reconstruct it accurately. At times you'd remember what you did or said, another time you'd be certain of how you'd felt. While most of the time, you'd only remember faces and colours and names and sounds.
I'm glad i've kept a diary most of my life. But for the smaller things, the finer details, I hope memory doesn't betray me. Or rather, I do not alter it.

I have been thinking, for like two weeks now, if it won't be over-ambitious of me to start writing down my memoirs. I know it will be time consuming. More than that, it would be emotionally and mentally taxing. But it would give me a nice picture of who I was and am and maybe even a sneak peek into the future.

While I was sitting in my old room today, I noticed how the walls and the furniture were still covered with old Barbie and Disney stickers. The last time I had called that room my own was when I was sixteen. It's been a long journey and there are still many scares in store. But I've made it this far. Back then, I wouldn't have ever dreamt I'd be living the life I'm living now. I wanted to study science, so I got enrolled in a school with the best faculty. I wanted to be an engineer, so I started preparing for the competitive exams. That was all, that was my plan for life. In hindsight, I realize I didn't really have a plan. Stuff came up, I dealt with it, worked hard, took a few tests and now I'll be handed a degree in Civil Engineering next year. Back in my old room, the stuffed toys haven't moved an inch. How did it all change so fast?

And now, when the time has come to take the next big step, I'm all apprehensive and jittery. I have spoken to hundreds of people, taken advice, made a million plans, analyzed all my options under a microscope but I still can't stop obsessing about the idea of tomorrow. Where is that unsure yet confident, awkward yet rebellious girl from yesterday?

I guess I'll have to hunt her down and bring her back.
Revisit the past and try to learn from it.
Starting the memoirs soon.


Words are always welcome.
Appreciative or critical- I'm waiting to hear from you.