My Paradox

"It's strange how this kind of solitude is so different from the one back there. You'd think the opposite.
Solitude in security or security in solitude?"

It is but natural to assume a craving of alone-time when one is in a crazily crowded place as a college hostel. Weirdly enough, when the first opportunity presented itself to me, I lost 'it' completely. The very walls of my refuge seemed as if they'd close in on me. Desperately, I searched for means to distract myself- looking for something to do, anyone to talk to..
My patience ran out by evening with me unlocking the flat and rushing to the canteen for the sight of my fellow sapiens.

And here I am today, exactly one week later in the place I grew up. Or lets say, grew up cursing the feeling of loneliness that lingers in the air here. But therein lies the paradox. When here, I'm a recluse. A happy recluse. Kind of a hermit, if you please. I crave for the empty room, deserted terrace even though there's nothing to run from.

It is said that a depraved man fears nothing worse than his won company.
But I am not that person. I am happily introvert-ed, reclusive and a loner. All of these, but most comfortably performed when at home.

I'm puzzled at this show of hypocrisy by my own mind. I wonder what happened last September.

But home is where the heart is.