'Worry, worry, worry, worry
Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone
Oh, worry, worry, worry, worrySometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend'
- Ray LaMonatgne, Trouble
The trouble with the human mind is, it's seldom at peace. It's always engrossed in a web of memories, ideas, promises and most of all, nagging doubts. So has been my state this past couple of weeks. With the huge amount of free and idle time in my hands, my mind cleared off the space earmarked for inner peace and invited the devil to play fiddle. From dawn to dusk, my thought process became a succession of doubts. Every little decision I had to make became a point of contention in the senate of my head. Every news I recieved was tossed and turned and stretched till it gave me nothing but displeasure. In short, I began worrying myself sick.
Worrying is one stubborn disease. The habit starts from one little genuine problem and before you've had time to get your optimism intact again, it spreads over to everything you once had under control. The once cheerful, majestic and life-giving morning Sun now becomes the harbinger of cancerous UV rays and burnt skin. You don't realize you've been affected till it starts showing obvious signs on your being.
Realization hit me when someone remarked I looked gloomy and sad, on a day I was congratulating myself on having spent well. It was confusing. But when my mind started doing the depressing rounds again, I understood.
It was time to putrefy.
It was time to catch the devils one by one and set their tails on fire.
So what if everything on my schedule didn't fall into place?
Life is too short to follow my planner to the 'T'.
So what if the work I turned in wasn't perfect?
Nobody really expected it to be.
So what if someone else got all that I really wanted?
I'll wait for my turn.
So what if i don't get placed this year?
It's not like my life depends on it.
So what if I don't make it into an IIT?
I've been living my life quite well outside of one.
So what if I'm not as smart as the others?
I did my best.
So what if i'm not the favorite person around?
I'm being myself.
So what if I'm not as good looking as
the other person?
I was born this way.