I can never reveal my greatest fear

I can never reveal my greatest fear
The terror binds my tongue
I have come to terms with the inevitable
But i don't know how it'll change me
As sure as the earth turns
I'll wake up one day to find her gone
Not my flesh or blood,but a bond just as strong
and when the last goodbye comes
I hope she'll know how much she meant
And how she changed the world around me
how she is the reason for a million smiles
And that i've always thought of her with moist eyes
Wish we could live twice.

I take back all the crappy stuff I said about Diwali. I am feeling oddly satisfied with myself. There is a certain solace in lighting candles. Slowly and carefully you bring the lit match close to the wick, pausing to let the flame transfer and then step back to enjoy your handiwork - those flickering yellow lights that symbolize the spirit of this festival.

Train of thought..

It's strange how one moment you feel so strongly about something and in the next it all vaporizes, leaving you clutching at vague impressions.
It so happened that when i was working out today, a strong wave of emotion overcame me and i had to switch off the machine to sit and think about it. Now, it might have been adrenaline, but the feelings were so strong I had almost reached for my phone and started acting on the emotion-fuelled impulses.
Took a deep breath, washed my face, settled down, reached for Debbie to type down all that I'd thought about and .. I wasn't feeling so convinced anymore. Was it because my doubts were baseless and trivial? Or did the sight of my laptop serve as a distraction? I'd never know.
In the mean-time, let me blabber about Diwali. It's not my favorite festival anymore. No more crackers. No more getting excited over gifts and visiting people.There are way too many formalities and technicalities being associated with this festival nowadays. Call me a depressed goose, but there's really nothing to look forward to tomorrow. At least for me. Except that I'd be wearing something new,hopefully.
Ah, it's frustrating not being able to write about what you wanted to.
Hope my train of thought leaves me to that desired station soon. Because there are questions, questions that need expressing more than answering.

Till then, Happy Diwali. Hope you have an exciting one. :)